Seven Words You Can’t Say…

Representative Ose (R) and his friend Representative Smith (also R) have introduced a bill (HR 3687) to amend section 1464 of title 18, United States Code, to provide for the punishment of certain profane broadcasts, and for other purposes. As it stand Section 1464. Broadcasting obscene language reads: Whoever utters any obscene, indecent, or profane language by means of radio communication shall be fined under this title or imprisoned not more than two years, or both.

The amendment would introduce the legend (a) before Whoever in the existing law and add the following section:

(b) As used in this section, the term ‘profane’, used with respect to language, includes the words ‘shit’, ‘piss’, ‘fuck’, ‘cunt’, ‘asshole’, and the phrases ‘cock sucker’, ‘mother fucker’, and ‘ass hole’, compound use (including hyphenated compounds) of such words and phrases with each other or with other words or phrases, and other grammatical forms of such words and phrases (including verb, adjective, gerund, participle, and infinitive forms).

Who do these maternal-fornicating rooster-vacuumers think they are? They claim that this is not an affront to the first amendment, but once you allow something to be banned then the slippery road to having anything that people feel are obscene, indecent, or profane being banned is not far behind. Some rectum is going to come forth and claim that the word ‘moist’ is ‘profane’, and then some vagina on Capitol Hill will want to amend the amendment to include the word ‘moist’ (and then the routine will repeat, until the nation has been silenced…)

Words are only as harmful as you want them to be, and if they are being broadcast – as a wise man once said – there are two more freedoms that every American has: Change the channel or turn it off. ‘Golly gee’ and ‘shucks’ may have been fine for Leave it to Beaver (might have to change that title, as it could be found indecent,) but this is the 21st century and the English language will just evolve something more ‘profane’ like ‘squink’ for all the kids to use.

If this bill passes, we might as well urinate on the constitution, and defecate on a flag – it’ll be a little something to give these maternal-fornicators a heart attack (and to get all of my synonyms out of the way.)

PS: Will they take into account context? I mean the past tense form of ‘piss’ has several meanings: 1) Urinated – “I pissed in the alley.” 2) Upset, angry – “I’m pissed off.” 3) Drunk – “I’m going down to the pub and I’m going to drink until I’m pissed.”

PPS: Feel free to use any form of the ‘-job’ series of words (‘hand’, ‘blow’, ‘rim’, ‘on-the’, &c…) as they seem to be acceptable, and don’t forget to use the synonyms for the targeted words and phrases in everyday conversation.

PPPS: Here is a link to Mr. Ose’s comments from the congressional record of 8 December, 2003 (it took a month for me to hear of this!)